the last night;

it is my last night in milan.
i can't believe this is over.
it wasn't that long when it all started.
the first day...
was spent at ikea.
i was frickin tired.
and all i wanted was to go home.
now,
on the last night..
everything is pretty much over.
i gave clubbing a miss.
cos the ppl i'll miss the most aren't there.
and i'm too tired to be diplomatic.
it won't take alot to send me to bitch mode.
so, i decided to go home.
i'm not crying.
i'm just feeling sad.
everything was so unbelievable.
the wkend trips, the freedom, the crazy parties, the drinks, the food, the love shared (esp with EILEENY), the snowy nights, the rubbish talking cock sessions with housey, the shopping...
my mind is so messed up i can't think actually.
i'm tired out from the exams (even though i hardly studied)
from the packing.
from the gift buying.
i am gonna miss weijie.
this is crazy.
but ya. and i won't see him till about a month later.
zzz.
i am gonna miss eileeny. for all the same reasons why we'll miss each other so.
i will miss watching that horrible dude play dota. he is so damn mean to me, but... oh wells. whatever.
big thanks to keith who will be solving my luggage weight problem.
heh.
i am going to miss tram 15, walking to sch with wj, the chinese takeaway, the parties, the fun, the cold, the random snowy days, the ability to go for wkend trips whenever i like, the friends (well most of them), the freedom...

there is so many things i wanna say
but im so tired
i wanna cry.
but the tears won't fall.

i wish there is someone to talk to.
i feel so weird.

it seems like he is having so much fun without me.
and when im back
im gonna WATCH him have his fun
while i rot at home like before.
this is so fucked up.
i don't want this be true.
i want to have MY fun.
i want to stay in Milan.
I want to stay in Europe.
I will be back.
I'll work while I study
I'll be back here to do my Masters.
Even if not in Italy.. I'll be back in Europe.
The slacky way of life.
the super long breaks.
ahhh.

my fav trip was definitely to barcelona.
the company was fabulous.
i had so much fun.
looking at the photos evokes so much memories.

im scared to go home
and be left to entertain myself with the tv.
after survivin without it for 3.5 months
it doesnt matter anymore.

all i want is to have someone to talk to now.
really.
CAN SOME CRAZY PERSON WAKE UP NOW.
just talk to me.

shit
this is seriously over.